you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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