For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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