I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
