I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
