I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
