Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
