i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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