I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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