i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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