so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
