You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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