you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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