Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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