i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
