is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
