i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
