well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
