the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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