just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
