Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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