Im at strip club and am horny
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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