You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
