babies were throwing up all over the place
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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