just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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