I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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