She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
