so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
