I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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