Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
