If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
