Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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