I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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