I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
