I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize