I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize