I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love having hate sex.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
