The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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