ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
