How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
