they need to just BURY HIM!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
