Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
