just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
