how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
