haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
