And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
