he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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