Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
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