in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize