watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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