she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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