went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize