so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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