We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
