I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
