Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
