WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
