I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize