No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
