Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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