THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize