your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
